Wow...

 I mean... what do I even say at this point? 😂

It's been YEARS... I totally even forgot this existed or was a thing... probably should have used it more throughout the years, if anything as a reminder of all the crazy stuff that happened. 

Kids are now grown... one will be graduating next school year, a second one a Junior and the baby in 7th grade. So much has happened over the years... I guess the next couple posts can be 'catching up' 

Sept. 2014, I think was the first wake-up call... W had A LOT of issues when he was younger. Things would get better and then boom! It's like everything exploded and we had to start over... Flashback, 2011 he was struggling... couldn't even stay in daycare. Constantly getting phone calls to come pick him up for one thing or another. I seriously thought I was going to end up losing my job with all of the 'drama'. The last straw was when he poured a gallon of milk on the toys and then climbed in the window sill and started licking the window. At this point he had been diagnosed with ADHD, and put on medication. Trial and error for a couple years... some seemed to work better than others, but overall... just felt like a disaster. 

Fast forward to about 2012/2013, he received an additional diagnosis of Aspergers along with his ADHD. Started a new medication along with therapy sessions and things seemed to finally be going great. He was doing great in school... and then the lab results came back in 2014... his white blood cell count was extremely low. The doctor had never seen this side affect from medication, so it was one of two things... either the medicine or possible cancer. So we had to take him off the medication so he could be retested just to be safe. Thankfully it was the medication that caused the low WBC, but... now we were back to square one trying a different medication. During this stressful time, trying a new medicine and everything... W started having "black out" spells... he literally would have lapse of time where he couldn't remember what happened and like he blacked out. He was scared and nervous about what was going on. He attacked a kid on the school bus so no longer could ride the bus... a few weeks later, he asked me to get him help. I took him to the childrens hospital where he was turned away because they didn't have room for him. This had been right after a huge storm hit the valley so half of the ER was destroyed from the flooding rain. I begged the hospital to please find a spot for him because he needed to be properly evaluated to get the right diagnosis and treatment for him, but they said go home and try this medicine and see if it helps. 

Less than a week later, he had another "black out spell" while standing in the lunch line and beat up his friend in class... he didn't remember doing it, or so he says, but when I picked him up he was crying and saying "help me, i need help". So I immediately called my husband and let him know I was on my way to a different hospital to get him help. I had never navigated the mental health waters before this, so I had no idea what I needed to do/could be done. All I knew was my child needed me and needed me to get him help. So we drove an hour away to a hospital where I thought they could help him and this is when everything started to really change. 

W spent a month in the psychiatric unit of an ER. The place I took him was AMAZING but unfortunately they did not have an inpatient psychiatric youth unit, so we had to wait for a bed to open. For children 12 and under, there were only 15 inpatient beds in the entire city and then an additional 5 about two hours away in another city. 20 beds total... 20 beds for children who need inpatient psychiatric care... and ALL of them were filled. People were on waitlists... some of them could wait at home... W was not one of those. He remained unmedicated and the psychiatrist would come and visit him in the ER to do her evaluations. One month, I spent almost every day waking up early to drive out to this hospital to spend some time with W while I worked. I am VERY thankful that at this time I had a caring boss and was able to work from the facility rather than in the office. 

On his birthday, Oct.. 7, 2014 I received a phone call. A bed had finally opened. I joked around saying that's the best birthday present he could have gotten. The staff had bought him a cake and some presents from the gift shop. It was the nicest thing ever to experience and even though I was breaking slowly inside, I smiled and thanked them for EVERYTHING they had done. These were the people for the last month when I couldn't be there with him taking care of him, making sure he ate and showered. I followed the ambulance to his new 'home' for the next 8 days where they would continue to evaluate him, but also test out some medications to see what works best for him.